Rachel's Paideia Blog

End of Semester Reflection

I think I enjoyed Paideia even more this semester. I liked it last semester, but I felt much more comfortable with everyone and ended up talking a lot more around the whole group. It seems like everyone is getting to know one another better and that really makes the experience of it much more enjoyable. The smaller group was also really nice. I feel like people who weren't really that interested or were too busy dropped out, and that's definitely a good thing. The people who remained seem to be much more interested and that makes for better discussion.
As far as personal growth in the program, I have spent the entire semester absolutely stressing about study abroad. I've been preparing and applying and filling out and waiting and buying and all of this shit for so long and it's been really really tough. I didn't realize just how much work would go into this, and I'm still not done. It's HARD! But I'm so super appreciative that it's finally about it happen. I leave for London on January 1st and I am terrified. I am so so excited about going, but I have a lot of reservations. I know it's lame, but the thing that's tripping me up most is being in a relationship. I've been trying for the past year or so to avoid dating because I didn't want to be attached to anyone when I was abroad. Of course I met the greatest guy in the entire world and want to get married and all of these ridiculous great feelings 2 months before I leave. So I am bummed about that, but I'm trying to not get too worked up about it. Six months is not forever. I'm also very concerned about money. My best friend is currently studying in Sweden, and he ran out of money quickly. I know that there's basically no way for me to keep up the lifestyle I've been living for the last few years, and that's really scary to me. I have so many reservations and so many things to be excited about...I just have a lot of feelings about it! It'll be amazing though.
As far as my creative works go, I'm still thinking I'll use my capstone for this. I have been too busy to think about much other than study abroad recently.

posted by Rachel @ 11:57 PM