Rachel's Paideia Blog

Activists Speak

First off, I'd like to say how glad I am that we attended this event. I really enjoyed the setup of it (not to mention the food!) and felt that it was a very interesting and informed way to go about discussing these issues.
The first session I think we all attended the "Dude, That's So Gay" presentation. It seemed very useful to define all of the terminology associated with issues surrounding sexuality (heteronormativity for me, in particular--which is coming up at incorrect in this word document, interestingly enough). However, I felt that many of these terms required more than one definition, or at least that they cannot be explained so generally. I think it was a great idea, but realistically many of those words require much more discussion than just a paragraph-long definition. There's too much meaning, too much sensitivity, too much complication surrounding these sorts of issues. But perhaps these definitions were simply for the purpose of the discussion they were having right there and now. I'm actually not sure, as I was in class and missed the first fifteen minutes of the presentation. Overall I felt it was very informative. It also made me realize that even I make mistakes in how I approach discussion of sexuality. I'm guilty of calling things "gay" and things like that just for comic effect. What's worse is that I've always felt it was okay because I would do it in the company of my gay best friends. However, that is incredibly uninformed and simply not okay. I need to make an effort to not excuse habits such as that, no matter what company I am in. I know it is offensive and I am not okay with being that person. This discussion really got me thinking about changing my ways and not allowing myself to be a part of the problem in any way. No excuses!

The second session we attended was "Reaching Out to Boys & Men to End Gender Violence." If I'm going to be perfectly honest, I wasn't the most excited about this presentation. However, I found it to be even more eye-opening than the previous one. That's not to say I didn't thoroughly enjoy and get a lot out of "Dude, That's So Gay," I just have much more familiarity with queer issues and discussion. I didn't realize just how much this presentation related to issues of sexuality. Almost all of the negative names men can be called characterize them as either female or homosexual. There's a problem right there! It's not okay for there to be a negative connotation with being female or being gay. It's just not. I also thought it was so, so interesting that the speaker (I forget his name) was advocating a change in the behavior and treatment of potentially violent boys and men. This seems really obvious, but it's actually not something I'd even considered. In every other instance of the prevention of domestic violence, the emphasis seems to be placed on changes that can be made by the victim rather than the aggressor. However, if changes were made before violence even occurred, it wouldn't be necessary for the victim to feel responsible in any way for what happened to them. If they are the ones expected to make changes so as to not be targeted, it is implied that they are the ones doing something wrong. And they're the victim! It seems almost absurd to me that there has been so much less effort put forth in the way boys are raised (to have negative connotation with females and homosexuals). If that is removed entirely and boys aren't bothered by things like "you throw like a girl" or "you're a pussy," I think violence against women and homosexuals would be dramatically reduced.

In general, I had a great time at these presentations and felt that I learned a great deal. I thought it was very in line with the Paideia experience of making connections that these two issues relate so much more than I was previously aware of.

posted by Rachel @ 5:38 PM